Here We Go Again.
(Hawaii 2016)

Kc and I had the opportunity to go to Hawaii again with our little family. My mother in law Mary had called me and asked if I was interested in doing a house swap with someone in Hawaii that a friend had told her about. I immediately said yes! The couple was looking for a house big enough to accommodate them and and one of their children and grandchildren. Luckily we had enough space and spare rooms and so we swapped houses and cars. We tried to make everything as cheap as possible so we bought tickets out of Las Vegas since they are way cheaper than flying out of Salt Lake. We drove down the day of since our flight left at 6:30 pm. On the way back we ran into a little trouble as they had completely canceled our flight home. This was not ideal, but that is what you get when you travel on such a cheap airline like Allegiant (you've been warned.) We did get out the next day though and while we would rather have left on our original flight everything turned out ok considering. 

Travel with toddlers is hard. That's why you don't see a lot of people doing it. They can adapt it's true, but when you are a 1 or 2 years old you want to play and explore 24/7 and it's not so conducive to standing in long lines at an airport for hours on end. In addition you have to deal with the whole napping/sleeping situation. Elijah is like me and he can't just fall asleep wherever or whenever. Olive could crawl up on a rock and fall asleep in 30 seconds and I don't think I realized how lucky we were to get such an easy little traveler as we did take Olive lots of places when she was very little. Elijah is at the age where he wanted to constantly get up and move around on this tiny plane. He tried to crawl over the seats and run down the aisles, and then when he got tired he couldn't sleep. I always plan for the worst and then everything turns out better than I had expected and so upon reflection I think everything went ok, and by that I mean it could have been a lot worse. This mentality has always helped with traveling, but it's still hard to hold a little boy still when the seatbelt lights are turned on and it often results in a lot of struggle. I had wanted to take a picture and show the real side of traveling with youngsters, but it's kind of hard to take pictures when you are chasing little boys down aisles, getting your face stepped on, or trying to rock as slowly and methodically as possible to coax your child to sleep. Olive said she wants to go back to Hawaii next year and I said she will have to start to be a little mom to make that happen. If we have another I think we might need to slow our travels a bit. We'll see where life takes us. 

I let Elijah do loops on these walking escalators to keep him busy. Luckily there were not too many people around.

Our first day in Hawaii we took the kids to Kakela beach. It's perfect because it has calm water, awesome sand, and a big park area with lots of trees and chickens for Elijah to chase. We wanted to have a slow relaxed local day to get the kids used to the time and environment change. Elijah could have chased those chickens aaaallll day.

I told Olive we were going to a beach with turtles not actually knowing if any would be there. This beach, Laniakea, is known for having turtles comes lay out on it's shores but it's not a guarantee. Luckily we saw a few turtles come to shore while we were there. It's illegal to touch them and volunteers come and place ropes to help keep people from getting too close. After we left this beach Olive begged to go back everyday afterwards. She loved seeing the turtles, she would say "let's go to the beach with the turtles!"

There were a few things I wanted to do while we were in Oahu that I hadn't done before. One of them was the lighthouse hike. We love to hike in Hawaii but this time I wanted to do an easy hike with the little kids. We went up with my sister, brother, and father in law. I loved spending time and talking with them on the hike up and the view from the top was beautiful. Elijah thought the ocean would appreciate his binky more than he would and decided to toss it over the edge right as this picture was taken. Luckily it landed on a little ledge and we were able to grab it. Little rascal. I wish I had taken a picture with everyone, I'm sad now to think that we didn't because it was a good memory to be together.

One of the places I wanted to visit on this trip was Hanauma Bay. I had never been because you have to pay to get in, it's crowded and touristy, and it's far away from where we always stay on the island. But since we were already in Honolulu and it is so famous and I wanted to try it. It was everything I was warned it would be and while the positive side is it's really shallow so you can see the fish up very close, that's also a negative because you are constantly having to watch out for coral. In every other department it just wasn't that great, and it did't help that I got completely berated by the lady sitting by us because my kids got sand on her towel and dropped some food that was attracting birds. So that was great. I would recommend Pupukea over Hanauma Bay hands down. Even if you have to drive an hour to get there! However the view of the bay as you walk up and down the hill to get to the beach, gorgeous, just gorgeous. 

The past couple years I had seen this tree off the side of the road that I just loved. There is just something about trees for me, I am so drawn to them. I can't explain it. We had never had time to stop before and since we were on this trip with no particular agenda I told Kc I wanted to stop and get out and explore in this spot. We drove there and as I went to get out I looked back and Olive was fast asleep. I am still so sad about that because she would have just loved this place, but I didn't want to wake her so I just took Elijah with me while Olive stayed in the car.

Kc's little brother and his wife, Greg and Heidi, have lived in Honolulu for the past four years while Greg attended medical school. They were moving while we were on vacation there and I really wish we could have come earlier to spend more time with them but I was happy we got to be with them for a few days. It was hard for them to move, they grew to love it so much there but I am so happy they are going to be stateside and a lot closer to us! I loved Elijah and their little Zeke getting to spend time together. They are only a few months apart. I hope they can be close to one another growing up.  

We spent a fun day in Haleiwa with my all my in laws before Greg and Heidi flew out. Haleiwa is one of my favorite towns in Oahu. We rented some canoes and a paddle board and went down a little river. A huge manta ray swam under our canoe with Heidi, Olive, and I and later we saw a cute little turtle after we had swapped Olive for Elijah on our boat. Afterwards we stopped for some shave ice and it really was such a fun day to get to spend all together.

Olive and her hair in Hawaii. 

I can't handle it. 

Olive and I hiding from the rain on the playground. I don't know why, but I love this picture so much. 

Waimea Valley. 

It has trees from all over the world. It feels like what heaven must look like, I love it there so much. After swimming in the ocean the waterfall feels very cold and Elijah was so excited to get in and then felt the water and wanted to get right back out. Olive was willing to swim with me over to the waterfall and let the water rushing down push us back out again. It was fun.

Teaching my kids to love the local food. Elijah is eating Poke (raw tuna in some delicious sauce) and Olive is eating musubi (a rice roll with spam wrapped in seaweed.) Elijah attempted to catch every chicken that crossed his path. Sadly, he had no success in that area.

Pupukea (Shark's Cove.) Easily one of the best places to take your kids on the whole island. Lots of shallow areas to swim and walk and see little fish and crabs and all sorts of marine life. On the day I told Olive she could pick anywhere to go she chose here. We got her to figure out the snorkel for a bit and she was so excited because I think it was super frustrating for her to hold on to mama's back while I snorkeled and not get a chance to see all the fun fish mama could see below. 

Laie Temple.

There are lots of asian people that vacation in Hawaii, and lots of them don't speak any english. It was pretty common for some of them to come up and get right in Olive's face and try to take pictures of her, it was kind of funny and kind of weird haha. I think they just loved her red hair and blue eyes because you don't see that much in Asia. These girls just died when they saw Olive and Elijah and took tons of pictures of them. I ended up calling my dad to talk to them because he speaks fluent Japanese, it was fun to hear them converse. They played with Olive for a while and she was loving it. She was trying to instruct them what to do and so she said "raise your hand if you want to do this." And when no one raised their hand I told her they didn't understand that, so she said "raise your hand means you have to lift your arms, like this." haha Telling your child that people speak a different language is a hard concept for them when they are little.

Waimea was another favorite place to take the kids. The sand is fun and the water is warm and calm and blue. Olive and I swam over to one of the smaller rocks and jumped off while daddy jumped off the big rock. 

Olive and I swam out to a rock close by the shore in the ocean at Waimea. We got to see a turtle that kept surfacing for air, I didn't have my snorkel on. A little later I decided to go back out with Olive again and bring a snorkel, we got lucky again and saw another turtle. This one was small and missing a fin. He was a cute little guy. 

One of the things I wanted to do in Oahu that I had never done before was to try Malasadas. I had never had them because we always stay on the north shore and all the bakery shops that sell them are in Honolulu, but since Kc had to drive there to take his dad to airport I had him swing by and get some on his way home. They were piping hot when he got them and so they were still warm when he got home. Olive, Kc, and I goggled them up so fast. They are every bit as amazing as they are claimed to be. Delicious. 

After a full day of fun at the beach I had wanted to go to sunset beach to watch the sunset. I told the kids we were not swimming just watching the sunset and playing on the beach, good thing I was smart enough to leave their swimsuits (and my own) on under their clothes because 5 minutes after this picture was taken we were all in the water. It couldn't be avoided. 

Heli Heli Grass. It closes when you touch it.

The fruit stands have evolved a lot over the years, and I don't think they are as good as they used to be but we still had to stop and get some lychees and some sugar cane for these kiddos to gnaw on. Look at that cute face! 

We had a hard time keeping track of this guy. Can you see him?

A fun little find by the beach.

That selfie game at The Elephant Thai Food Truck. That was some GOOD food. And the kids were crazy and wouldn't sit still for 5 seconds.

Kc wanted to walk to Goat Island. I was a little hesitant at first because you have  have to carry these kids across coral thorough the water that gets at least waist deep and you are working with the tides that rise and fall. I agreed to do it though and besides one big splash to the face on the way back that Elijah wasn't very happy about it went great! I didn't take my phone to the island because I didn't want it to get wet, but I regret not putting it in a bag or something because the island is so beautiful and I didn't get any picture there. It's so green and you can only walk on the outer rim because it is a bird sanctuary where they protect the nesting birds but you can see them and we got to see one of their cute little nests that they burrow in the ground. There are lots of crabs, shells, and coral on the island that we collected. Elijah was completely mesmerized when we went to the back side and watched the big waves come crashing against the rocks. It was a really fun morning. The two pictures above are still shots from the Go-Pro video Kc had strapped to his chest. The first is us leaving the island and the second one is when we had almost reached it. It was fun to watch the video and hear Olive and Kc's conversation on the way over, I love them. 

Can't help myself. Always setting a bad example.

Another first in Oahu trying Ted's bakery and the chocolate haupia pie. MMMMMmmmmmm. We stopped on our way to sunset beach and then decided to get another whole pie on our way back we loved it so much! I love the plain haupia pie the most (which is coconut) the kids loved any pie you put in their mouths. 

I saw this swing off on the side of the road on one of our drives. I had to stop there and go for a swing. Growing up my dad always pulled off for adventures and I can't help that I have the same instincts. My eye is always looking for adventure of any kind. 

I realized on the last day that Kc and I had no pictures together so I tried to take a selife with him, it wasn't going that well so I asked Olive to help. Here are the results. 

Our last time swimming on the North Shore before we left (or thought we were leaving) Hawaii. It was a beautiful evening together. 

Our flight got canceled out of Oahu, which sucked. You may be thinking that Hawaii is not such a bad place to be stuck, which is true, but when you are spending half the day at the airport and then taking a shuttle to a hotel where there is no food or transportation and having to call into your jobs and request more time off it's not so appealing, but we made the most of it and went for a little swim in the pool. Thankfully we were able to get out the next day. 

Oh man, we had the best time. We were grateful to have Kc's dad come spend a week with us while we were there. We loved having him. I am now reflecting that I don't have any pictures with him and that makes me really sad because he was present for a lot of our adventures and my kids just loved it. He is such a loving and generous person to have around. We also loved our time with Greg and Heidi and I'm sad we don't have any pictures with them either. I still have the memories though, and those are wonderful. We were able to do all the things we wanted and more, it was an adventure I'll never forget. Now we have to start scheming to figure out a way to go back next year!

The Brains way of Healing.

Dr. Norman Doidge

I've been reading a book called "The Brain's Way of Healing" for honestly the past year. It took me so long to read it not because it wasn't interesting, but because I liked to read it slowly and dissect and ponder each section. (Also who has time to read with little kids??) I was  already confidently recommending this book to everyone I knew after only 10 pages into it. It is one of the most thought provoking books I've ever read, so I wanted to do a little blog post about it to remember all the highlights that impacted me the most. 

"The brains way of healing" is a book that explores the science behind a malleable brain. It had been believed for many years (and is still believed by most practitioners) that damage to the brain is irreparable. This would mean that those with injuries relating to the brain (trauma, mental illness, debilitation etc.) are confined to whatever their circumstance may be and are better off to accept it and work with it than try to improve it. Even our methods of treating injuries all of the body demonstrate how much the brain is misunderstood. Dr. Doidge, the author, depicts a beautiful picture of the inter-workings of the brain and we see that everything in our body is processed through this complex organ. Damage to the eyes, ears, throat or any number of areas in the body can be improved through the utilization of the brain. The science and evidence provided in this book shows just how limiting many of our beliefs and practices have been, and that if we were able to open our minds and hearts to other possibilities beyond many of the current practices today just how much it could impact the lives of many that are hurting or struggling; including our own. 

Medicine has become such a controversial subject, and that's sad. We are frequently told by others we encounter in our lives that we are either doing it the right way, or we have been doing it the wrong way. I feel like we live in a day where people are so extreme and there is no middle ground any more. Our religion, our politics, our exercise, the way we eat, and definitely the way we practice medicine has become so defined by firm beliefs we have developed and no one is actively or openly listening to anyone else anymore. I really struggle with this current state of our society, and in my own life try to retain as much balance as possible. I really love that this book embraces doing methods that just make sense and have worked, and yet it is so hard for people to accept anything contrary to the current common practices. I'm hoping that with the current climate in our society that instead of being resigned to certain opinions based on where we think we should stand, step back and think about what really MAKES SENSE and how you REALLY FEEL about it. 

I work in a hospital, and so I have some perspective on the things that go on there. I feel like we have gotten to where we are because there have been so many changes in the private sector of the medical field over the past 50 or so years, and a big one is that there is A LOT of money to be made in that industry. It's not the employees that are drastically over paid, it's not the nurse who tenderly looks after all you needs, or even the doctor who can spend long sleepless nights at the hospital trying to figure out what is wrong with a patient. No, it's the people that you don't see. It's the big wigs in the pharmaceuticals or the companies that manufacture gowns for the exam rooms for 50 cents a piece and turn around and charge the doctor's office 100 bucks for it, which cost is then passed to you. There are a lot of things at play that have brought this about, and in my opinion it is a lot of corruption that is making some people a lot of money at the expense of the majority of Americans. My parents had a baby without insurance 37 years ago and were able to just save and pay for it in cash. You could never do that now, you would need to take out a big loan or it would bankrupt you (by the way these are all my opinions, not things in the book.) All the hospital fees along with insurance prices sky rocketing over this period of time (and it is due to more causes than Obamacare whether you want to believe it or not,) it is getting so hard to sift through all the mess and just figure out what is the best medical treatment for yourself or your child.

So what is my point? My point is this. When the most money to be made is through (for example) a surgery, there is a lot of pressure from all directions to get the surgery, whether or not that is considered to be the least invasive or give the most effective outcome. It might be that surgery IS the best option, but with so many things at play it's hard to know if we are really getting the most informed solution to our problem. We have come to a point in our society where we are always judging others and we always feel judged. We are defensive and skeptical of one another at the same time, and we seem to make decisions based more on our emotions than anything else. My wish for myself after reading this book is to be open minded to the ideas and inspirations of others and to be constantly making small changes in my day to day to improve the quality of my life and the lives of others.

Ok, enough already right? What does the book actually say? Well, because there are so many detailed methods and explanations within the text I really just recommend that you read it, but since this is a postscript mostly for myself and the things I want to remember I will give some of the highlights. One of the ways to initiate healing is through the senses. Utilizing sounds, touch, and movement. The Tomatis method is a sound therapy in which children and adults listen to music or the spoken word at different frequencies. It sounds so simple, but this has helped improve speech, spacial awareness, mood, sensory, and sleep among other things. The Feldenkrais method demonstrates how taking broken bodies and touching them, moving them in natural motions with healthy bodies can change their own movement. Going on walks, physically moving the body as we think or listen to music can improve our cognitive and motor functions. Healing can also take place by harnessing elements we find in nature in harmony with our bodies, light and vibrations have been used in laser therapy by Fred Kahn for over 20 years. We see in hospitals how the use of light can help reduce bilirubin build up babies. These same techniques are applicable when light is directed at the brain or different parts of the body to stimulate systems within the body. A device called PoNS was developed by Helius medical technologies. This device uses electrical stimulation on "channels" in the tongue to stimulate damaged or malfunctioning areas of the brain. It has dramatically improved individuals with a range of different types of brain traumas. All these different methods have improved the lives of so many without any side effects because they are all non invasive "natural" treatments. These treatments are not 100% guaranteed to work on everyone, but what is the harm in trying it if there are no negative side effects? When I listen to commercials these days for medications and they list all the possible side effects I think, this sounds WORSE than what they already have!

I have thought a lot about this book and the experiences of the unique individuals who have changed their lives through these methods. One thing I wonder is why it worked for some people and not for others. It doesn't follow up much on those who were not improved because obviously those are not great examples, but I am sure they exist none the less. One of my theories of why it worked better for some rather than others is a topic that I am very interested in, it is the idea of the human spirit. That is why GATTACA is one of favorite movies of all time, because I love the idea that our will to do something gives way to limitless possibilities, nothing in our lives is set or predetermined. We choose our own destiny, and we can achieve what it is we set out to do. I listened to a podcast not long ago that talked about athletes and how they tried to determine what made one athlete run further or faster than another. They looked at all kinds of factors such as muscle mass, glycogen usage, oxygen levels, and many biological processes. What they found was that when it came down to the best athletes in the world they could't find one thing that predetermined one to have that extra advantage over the other. It was their will to win, the human spirit. In the book it talks about a man named John Pepper from South Africa. You read about his incredible life story, and his eventual prognosis of Parkinson's disease. John uses a number of different things to improve his motor functions but the main thing he does is walk a certain amount every day. John  has tried to teach many others his methods but few seem to have the relief of symptoms to the extent that John has had, or the desire to use the same method that has worked for him. My belief is that John is so successful because of his strong will, desire, and self control. John uses his will to circumvent the damaged parts of his brain that would stop him from having complete control of his limbs. It takes a lot of work and concentration because he has to actually think through every single motion of his body that are usually on autopilot in the brain, but he does it. John says in the book that he is confused why more people don't try his method. I think it is because it is really hard. The author Norman Doidge M.D. discusses pain in the brain. All pain in your body is experienced through and because of the brain. This is a safety mechanism that helps us from further hurting ourselves, but it can be a problem when it turns into chronic pain. Every single thing you do is the result of neurons firing in your brain. This is how we do normal habits like reading and walking, but it is also how we form habits, whether they be good or bad. Each time the neurons fire the connection grows stronger so that the process of playing a song or doing a puzzle gets easier every time. The negative side effect to this process is that bad habits form in the same way and just as easily. Each time we look at our phone or have negative thoughts about ourselves or others, these connections continue to grow stronger and the urge to do them increases. Similarly, when we experience pain repeatedly in one area we can start to develop what is called chronic pain, which is pain we feel whether our bodies need the warning or not. This is caused from our neurons firing so often that a connection is made and the neurons don't stop firing. To solve this problem we have to override our brains neural activity and create new stronger neural connections. This is easier said than done, but that is the where the idea of human spirit and the human will comes into play. We have to be strong enough individuals to take control of our thoughts and our bodies and direct them where we want them to go. I used to have a lot of things that would give me anxiety or trigger panic attacks, but I realized I didn't want those to control my life so whenever I had a thought of anxiety I chose to override it with other thoughts. I did this until one day I realized that these things no longer gave me anxiety. That is why sky diving was such a beautiful experience for me. Heading up in the plane I was so overcome with fear, I felt literally paralyzed to the point that I couldn't breathe and I honestly felt my bodily functions were shutting down. In that moment I realized that I could take control and that fear wasn't what I wanted for myself. I wanted to enjoy this unique experience. So I closed my eyes, I took deep breaths and I directed my thoughts else where. I can honestly say that when I stepped out on the ledge of that plane there was not one ounce of fear in my heart or mind. It was beautiful. 

Many of the health issues discussed in the book are not ailments that currently plague our family, but I loved all the science and theories in the book and so after I finished it I wanted to figure out how I could incorporate them to improve my own life. I am big believer in achieving a big change by making small incremental changes over time. There are people out there who are able to just go cold turkey and quit smoking over night, or cut out all unhealthy foods from their diet in a day, or a number of other dramatic life changes, but these people are very rare and often have a hard time sustaining these changes long term. That is why I have chosen a few small things to start changing in my life which will hopefully lead to eventual sustained habits and permanently rewiring the brain. One is to switch out the type of music I play in the car to something that may stimulate and relax our brains. Another one is take control of any negative thoughts about myself or others and try to direct them to a more positive route. I also see that there are a lot of things that I am doing right, and I am committing to myself to continue doing these things. Active walking with my kids, being outside, doing yoga multiple times a week, and choosing more often than not to eat heathy foods. I have already seen how these things have improved my life and I want to continue to improve to become the best version of myself. 

Lastly I wanted to discuss a "negative" review of the book because I think questioning things is always good. I was curious to read reviews of the book on amazon. Majority were rave reviews, and some were even people telling their own stories of having found some of these methods on their own and the success it brought them in their own lives, but there were some that had some criticism for the book. One of them I touched on earlier was that these methods are presented as miracle workers when in fact they may not have worked for every person. This is a very interesting criticism to me because all medicine is this way. We go to the doctor for treatments, and there is always a chance they may not work, and often they don't, but we accept that. For whatever reason we take offense to "alternative" methods that don't work (and by alternative I mean methods that are not mainstream.) I think this perception comes from seeing other who may have tried natural methods that didn't work and we feel these people have been misled and had they tried a different method things would have been better for them. We don't know if this is true on not, but the reality is that medical procedures don't ALWAYS work either. Another reason is that I think we often feel that these other methods are not backed by science and if they were than we would be using them. "If these methods are really so great, why are we not using them." said one critic. I laughed a little to myself when I thought about this, because of course, it sounds so logical! But look at our world and the things people do that just don't make sense! I feel, as I mentioned earlier, that money is a factor, but I digress. We feel like if someone is offering a more "natural" method to us it should work for everyone and if it doesn't it is bogus. In fact many people came to find these methods after using others that were recommended that simply didn't work. Also why would we say no to trying something that has no negative side effects. If it doesn't work, try something else! I knew someone who's child was on a medication that was considered very risky and could have very severe side effects. I suggested another remedy that my sister had used that worked very well for her, had no side effects, and was a fraction of the cost but she was so averted to the idea of using anything natural that she refused to try it. Both sides of the coin tend to view the others approach with distain and we have to find somewhere to meet in the middle. I truly believe that we can.

In conclusion I loved this book because it reminded me of all the things I don't know what I don't know, and to always reach for more knowledge and be open to what others around me have to offer. I was assured that all the little things that I do in life, reading and singing with my children, spending time with them, taking walks and playing, these things matter. The book also helped me learn things that I could be doing better to help the growth and development of myself and my children. My hope is to seek to improve my own life and the lives of others, in that I  pray that I can find the greatest happiness. 

Olive and Elijah update.

It's been awhile since a did an update with my kids and they are growing up so fast and changing everyday so I better stop time for one second and record all the little wonderful things I get to witness everyday. 

Here is my little Olive as she is right now. Each day she says a new little phrase that makes me laugh and wonder, "where did you hear that?" Although most the time I can hear myself parroting back. As you can see she still loves dinosaurs. We went to a little Provo birthday celebration and Olive got her face painted with this little dinosaur and got to have a something made from a balloon. When she reached the front of the line the man asked Olive "now what would you like, a pretty princess crown?" Olive exclaimed "No! I want a dinosaur!" She got what she wanted. Each day her relations with our brother get better, but she still has a hard time when he touches or grabs certain things of hers. We are working on it. I have always had little things that I have said to tease her like "I'm going to kiss your face off!" and recently she doesn't like them so much and will say to me "Don't say that again or I will put you in time out." haha I am trying to stop, but I really do want to kiss her face off! She doesn't get put in time out very often, so when she does it is VERY dramatic and seared in her memory. Yesterday she asked for the first time if she could play with a friend that day. I guess she is growing up. I love it and hate it at the same time. I can't imagine not having this spirit in my home anymore, but I can't wait to see her grow and spread her wings and find all the things that bring her joy in her life. For a while she has been doing this thing where she has to stack all her books in big piles by her bed. I tried to put them back on the bookshelf once. That did not go well. She picks two or three books before bed and absolutely insists on turning each page, and it doesn't really matter how short the book is these days because Olive will dissect every little thing on the page and so it takes an hour to read one book no matter what. Sometimes it's ok, sometimes I am on the verge of "freaking out" as Olive (and I) put it. She loves it when I play dinosaurs with her and color in her coloring books with her. I love hearing her play with her toys and the conversations they have with one another. Lots of times they are falling off things and getting saved. She is great at make pretend and is constantly turning certain things into "mud" that we have to get out of to not get stuck. We are always being chased by sharks or T-rex all the sudden and then we have to find refuge. She always finds something interesting in inanimate objects, like in the winter we stepped outside and saw a big patch of snow and she said "hey mom, that's a t-rex!" And it really did look like one! She will also take little bites of her food and proclaim them to be boats or the moon, or whatever she decides the food looks likes. She has recently been learning to ride her bike and loves to ride with me around the neighborhood or to the park. She is always racing with everything she does and proclaims that she has beat me no matter what. If I beat her things don't go over well. She loves to go to her Grandma's or a friends house, but she would still always rather be with me if I will play and spend time with her. She gets easily distracted and will sometimes start to talk to me and her brain will wander and she will say "Mom was I going to say?" As her mom I can always answer that question. "You were asking for milk Olive." "Oh yes mom, can I have milk?" Sometimes it gets hard when she can't remember things because she isn't paying attention and I can get really frustrated, but I try to be patient. Sometimes I think I am doing a great job, sometimes I think I am failing miserably. When I feel that way I remember that I love this little girl more than anything and that if I keep giving her that love everything will work itself out in the end. Maybe I'm wrong, but that's what I tell myself. I feel so lucky to have this little girl in my life, so I'm trying my best to guide, nurture, and help her see her self worth. 

I love you Olive. 

Oh my little Elijah, each day I fall more and more in love with you. These pictures show your little rascally personality and I just love it. It's interesting to raise one child and that's all you know and then when you have another you say oh, that's you, you are so different. You always wonder how much of it is nature or nurture. For example this little guy is more of a bully than Olive. If he sees a little kid he will sometimes walk up and push them or get mad if he sees they are playing with a toy that he wants or going down the slide he wants to go down and he will yell and hit. Olive was the opposite, always giving toys to other kids and confused when a kid took something, but our world revolved around her and she got whatever she wanted and so she didn't really need to be possessive and really didn't even know what it meant to have something be "hers." Everything was hers. Don't worry, she is more than making up for that possessiveness now that she has a little brother. And poor Elijah always has to be fighting to get or keep a toy and so I think that fight is getting more engrained in him at a young age. He is a lot pickier than Olive was (and is) and I think that is a result of both nature and nurture because with Olive we could control everything that went into her mouth for so long, but with Elijah he sees what Olive is eating and he wants that and so he was exposed to sweeter flavors at an earlier age. We still try really hard with him, and sometimes he will give in if he has no other option or if I shove it in his mouth so he can see it's not that bad after all, but sometimes he just spits it right back out at me. I still tell myself it's worth it for the few times he keeps it in and gets exposed to flavors and eats something healthy. If he sees anything else he wants in the near vicinity he will refuse to eat whatever it is you are trying to give him. I got him to eat a soup the other day with carrot, beans, zucchini, avocado, and corn but the next day when I tried to give it to him and he saw his dad eating a bagel, game over. *sigh* We will keep working on it. Smoothies have been an essential way of getting him to have some greens. He is late talking just like Olive was and still doesn't really say anything except for Mamma and some animal noises. He is pretty good at doing signs, but I always forget to keep doing them after I teach him and so then we kind of lose them. If I remind him he will sign more, all done, bath, dad, book, shoes, outside, car, elephant and ball. He is working on some others but some of the signs are so hard for little hands. Sometimes I can tell he is doing a sign because his hands are moving in a purposeful motion, but I can't figure out the sign. It took me a while to figure out his sign for Dad, but he was doing it every time he saw KC so we finally figured out that is what he was signing. It's hard for babies to do signs on their face where they can't see their hands. Olive had a hard time with that too, and still does. I have to keep reminding myself to do them since it is such a good way of communicating with him. He is very attached to his Mom right now and will often turn his head in disgust at the idea of someone else taking him. He went through a really fussy stage a bit back and I noticed his teeth were cutting through and I had hoped that was what was causing it so I didn't have to have this fussy baby for always, luckily that was the problem and he is much happier baby these days. He loves balls and I have learned to bring one with me everywhere or else he will try to steal others kids, and sometimes he still tries to steal other kids. He is a really good dribbler, he was playing in our driveway and I watched him follow the ball so well and keep with it. I thought wow, he is better than Olive! He continues to do that at the park when we go to play. He is also begging me to take him down the slide 50 million times. We do a lot of "family slides" with all three of us. He is starting to get to that stage where he gets attached to things and I got him this panda bear at Ikea and he asks to have it in his bed with him, along with other various toys and sometimes a book. I love the little smile he gets on his face when I hand it to him, and he pulls it in close to face and snuggles it. He loves to read and point to things and have me say them over and over again or sign the word. I know all the books he loves and he especially loves the Dinosaur Roar book. He is starting to do some animal noises, his favorite is to moo like a cow. I take Olive and Elijah lots of places and I am always having to chase Elijah around, once his feet touch the ground he is off in all directions. Poor Olive has to stop and wait while I run after him, we try to make it work the best we can. He fell and scraped his face bad on the pavement a few weeks ago and it has finally healed but he may have a little scar on his forehead, and few days ago he burned his hands really bad on a door panel that had heated up in the sun. He screamed for hours and it was so sad and hard and had me in tears trying to relieve the pain. He is getting better now. He went through a big stage of throwing things in garbage and we think he may have thrown away KC's wallet and passport. He isn't doing it as much anymore but I still catch him occasionally throwing toys away. Little rascal. He loves to play with dinosaurs like his big sister and is always dragging them around and making them "roar." He also loves to go through all of Olive's books, much to her chagrin. I am looking forward to the day when I can read them bedtime stories together, for now that is just not possible. He loves to play outside in the backyard in a little red car a neighbor gave us, and he is always trying to escape every time the front door opens and make a break down the sidewalk. Elijah and Olive seem to run everywhere they go in the house and I love the pitter patter of their little feet running up and down the hallway. I love any one on one time I get to spend with each them. Each day we seem to get closer to a stage where they can happily play together, hopefully. Little Elijah you are the perfect addition to our family. You add so much spunk and personality and I just love you to pieces. I love your hugs and the way you put your arms around my neck and cling to me. That will never ever get old. I know this attachment stage doesn't last long, and while sometimes it's hard, I wouldn't change it for anything. I love these little babies running into my arms for safety, security, and love. I love you Elijah.