Today was one of those days. I thought I could finish strong by taking Olive on a walk somewhere, But little miss sunshine decided 20 blocks from our home that being pushed in a stroller was just not as comfortable as being held by her mom. So yes, I held my 20+ lb baby while pushing a huge stroller.
And, being a working Mom makes these hard days even harder. I mean all I want to do is stay up late and get some down time with the hubby- but I have to go to bed because it's back at em' at 3:30 am. I've had to let a lot of things go in order to stay sane, and one of them is defiantly the consistent tidiness of my house (among other things). I mean sometimes a girls just got to sit down and watch an episode of project runway ok?
Today I realized that the hardest thing for me is that my brain never stops. Every night in bed I lay there for at least an hour. My mind is racing with all the things I need to do or think about. What bills do I need to pay, what laundry needs to be done, dishes, appointments, grocery shopping, scheduling. It seems like there is no end to the pace at which my mind races. So per usual after todays long hard day I was rocking little Olive to sleep and I was thinking ok I need to put her down so I can do this, and this, and that. And then I just decided to let it go. I don't care. I am just going to sit here and enjoy this moment. Why is it so hard to do that? And how can I do it more often? I feel like all our gadgets these days gear our minds to such a fast pace state of thinking. What's this new update, do I have any new emails, it's all at our finger tips instantly. I feel the need to be constantly entertained, it's so gross. And yet that is where my mind goes, it can't be alone with itself. And so I decided that I am committing myself to take a step back and look at my life, slow down, change perspective, and just breathe in the moments of my daily life. I'm not sure if this Mamma brain can do it, but I'm sure going to try. Wish me luck!
Hi Happy Girl.
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